Creative? Try dumb.

Today was the first day of MAACS testing. Some of CPLS' best and brightest gather in the cafeteria to take some really crappy academic tests for our fine arts competition at the Baptist capital of KC. After getting fed up with the incompetence of the tes writers last year, i opted to just do Creative Writing:Poetry this year. How can you screw up a general topic for a poem...i'll tell you how, by making it "Teenagers with Bibles in Hand." I definitely started laughing immediately, and brainstormed how to fit under the topic without ever really mentioning it directly. I think i did a pretty good job of doing that and incorporating adapted parts of my other poems...good times. And oh yeah, i used one of our DFWWotD (i changed vocab to word(s)), nepotistic...i can see them scrambling to their pansy Merriam Webster dictionaries now hehe. i might post the ole poem later, but now i don;t feel like typing it out.

In other news, Million Dollar Baby definitely dominated last night, screw you Aviator...check out my bros year end movie review on his Blog at the right...definitely worth your time.
SEMI SPOILER
and on a side note, did Christopher Reeve(s?) live on a respirator his whole life?
END SEMI SPOILER
Later Kids.
DFWWotD
aleatory adj.-Dependent on chance, luck, or an uncertain outcome: an aleatory contract between an oil prospector and a landowner.

Visual Sunday Redux

Apparently i was thwarted by stupid copyright protection (who needs that...not like it helps the economy) last night, so here is my attempt to get around that protection hehe. Keep in mind that this was all done before the Oscars last night.

Without further ado, I give you "Visual Sunday at the Oscars"

Although i haven't seen Ray, i kind of wish it hadn't come out so Jaime could get the supporting actor nod for Collateral, but alas, Best Actor will have to do...poor guy. 

Speaking of Supporting Actor, I hope Mr. Freeman gets the nod there, and who could argue against Miss Swank for the Actress Oscar...if you do, she'll beat you up, and she can. 

Go rent Collateral, it's not up in many of the big categories, but i still loved it. The acting by these two is great, the music is soothing, and Mann's directing was intense. 

Here are two good reasons to hope (unrealistically) The Aviator doesn't win anything. 

Who could go against Pixar in the Best Animated category? Die Shrek Die!! 

And lastly, my best movie of the year by default. It's only nominated in Visual Effects and Score. Raise your hand if you are jealous of Harry? 

And in the most confusing scene for non-book readers category... 

Don't hold Grudges against Babies

Fat cats are deceptive. When you go to pick them up, you expect your hand to get engulfed by the rolls. But somehow, cat fat is made of solid stuff. For proof see Anna's cat Messier or Nate Dogg's adopted cat Casper.

The Grudge sucks. Don't rent it. I encourage downloading it illegally. The ending makes you angry. One thing that my dad brought to my notice was that it is in fact a moral movie. Lesson: don't hold grudges, cuz if you die while holding one, scary Asian boys will haunt your house and your spirit will be stuck killing people for eternity. Aren't there better things for all the spirits in horror movies to do than to hang around a crappy old house and kill people? Go throw deathday parties with Nearly-Headless Nick. Go find a nice Gothic cathedral or something. I think killing loses its novelty after a while, even if you get to literally frighten people to death (poor Frank Bryce {might not want to go there if you haven't read GOF and intend to}).

**********************Million Dollar Baby spoilers begin*********************************

I just saw Million Dollar Baby, and feel i need to express my views on the whole euthanasia issue as portrayed in it. I don't think Eastwood's character was wrong to do what he did. Here was a girl who every doctor said didn't have a hope. If she had been living a generation or two earlier, she would have already died. Her form of life was no real life. Don't families everyday make the decision to "pull the plug" on a loved one? They know that complete reliance on a machine for breathing and life is no life, and that the suffering endured needs to stop. You say "but Frank wasn't her family." Yes he was. Were those selfish hillbillies more family than the man who loved her most? With those few things in mind, i think Frank did the right thing, althoug hthat didn;t make watching it any more comfortable. Understand that this is my opinion on that particular instance. But i would love to hear your feelings on the subject in general.
************************Spoilers over***************************************
That said, Million Dollar Baby will win Best Picture tomorrow...or else.



Doug...so hot right now...Doug (is that legal?)




DFWVotD
cannabis (can'-uh-bis)-Any of several mildly euphoriant, intoxicating hallucinogenic drugs, such as ganja, hashish, or marijuana, prepared from various parts of this plant.
(DFW could write an encyclopedia on drugs...and i don't mean medicinal ones)
plosive-Of, relating to, or being a speech sound produced by complete closure of the oral passage and subsequent release accompanied by a burst of air, as in the sound (p) in pit or (d) in dog.

That's my family, Kay, not me...

As much as you try to deny the role your family plays in your life, as much as you want to distance yourself from it, family can always pull you back. Fresh off a Godfather viewing (one of the greatest movies of all time), the metamorphosis of Michael Corleone's character haunts me. One so innocent, so soft hearted, so ignorant, becomes the ruthless Don that claims Jesus and denounces Satan while his plans of murder are carried out. Frighteningly, you love him for it. You love that his authority is so feared, he never has to raise his voice. Sometimes he still does, but only to make you thta much more scared. As freight trains rush through his head and the lives of two men lay in his hands, Michael Corleone takes action as i only hope i would do. As the things he holds dear get taken from him, you feel sorry not only for him, but for those who did the taking. You fear what Michael will do to them, and you know he will get them in a controlled, well-planned manner. Does the power corrupt him? Surely. Absolutely? I don't think so. If that was absolute corruption, this world isn't all that bad.

Bottom line, even though you may not want to be part of your family. Even if you stay home on Friday night despising your parents and marking off the days until you can move out, one little event can draw you back to them like a dog to his own feces.

i found some crappy entertainment tonight in TILT. The show hasn't progressed it's plot in 1.5 episodes. The sexual encounters are forced, awkward, and unnecessary. The poker hands suck. i don;t really care about any of the people. But yet i still watch. I feel like after having gone this far into the season, i am required t ofinish it out (only 3 more episodes i think...thank goodness).

OK, i really have to get back to the Godfather. Let me count the men and women whose careers were made in these movies:Marlon Brando (i know he was famous before this, but c'mon...what do you know him for), Al Pacino, Robet Duvall, Robert Deniro, Diane Keaton, Andy Garcia, Francis Ford Coppola, James Caan, Sofia Coppola (did you know she is the baptised baby "boy" in the first movie) , Mario Puzo, and everyone else who had minor roles and whose names i don't remember. I still don't quite understand why something so evil and ruthless as organized crime is so darn appealing. I just want to be Cicilian now...to have a wife who puts Emeril to shame, to have relatives who will kill for me...without hesitation.

DFWVotD
incunabulum (in'-kyeh-nab'-yew-lum): A book printed before 1501; an incunable; An artifact of an early period.
meatus (mee-ate'-us):A body opening or passage, such as the opening of the ear or the urethral canal.

Those we are Called to Love

"I dream of big eyes and batting lashes, the kind that don't need mascara."
"I dream during class usually."
"You don't dream during class, you stare, it's impolite really."
"You think she notices?"
"Does a chicken have lips?"
"..."
"I looked over during the lecture and you had tried to set your book up so if you glanced over the top you could see her reflection in the security mirror, but in no way could she have noticed...stalker material bud."
"You noticed the security mirror?"
"No, i just guessed."
"OK, well that's comforting. How did your interview go?"
"Good question, and one that requires a little time. My interviewer was a female. Quaint, right? I like to think it was Providence. This chick wasn't even looking at the paper during our conversation. Her big brown eyes and batting lashes were hypnotized by my command over the English language. She could ask me about the supposed oil crisis, and we would end up somewhere in Australia discussing their rivalry of the United States in men's swimming. i owned this job, had it in the bag like half-price strawberries in July. In the end she ended up writing her number on the back of her business card. I never even had to ask. It was that obvious."
"So you think you got the job?"
"Most definitely."
"When does it start?"
"Oh, i'm not going to take the job. i just wanted to see if i could get it...and her. That's all."
"Right, so does Jenny know about yourl little mental affair?"
"Which one?"
"Which mental affair?"
"No, which Jenny?"
"..."
"Both actually. Look, we don't need to talk about this. What we need to do is get you to stop staring into security mirrors and take some action."
"But inaction requires so much more self-control in this situation."
"Self control?"
"Don't worry, you probably haven't heard of it. Just come back to me in 10 years and tell me if it has found you."
"It won't"
"I wouldn't think so, but hey, miracles happen, even to those who don't want them to happen and even to those to whom we don't want them to happen."

Last Night at Home

Here i stand in a humid gymnasium. The stagnant air longs for the once-functional exhaust fan to energize it. This is the last night at home for no young women and three young men. The fans (not exhaust, human rather) are out like stars in the Rockies to cheer their team on but not to discourage the opposition. Unlike any other basketball game you have been to, a Cair Paravel game contains no screaming during free-throws, chanting of airball ("hairball" is fine), or taunting of the visitors. Here, the daring young rebels drop a water bottle when the other teams shoots. Some, oozing with originality, shush the crowd obnoxiously. But the greatest moments come when an attendant from one of the area public schools shouts out, totally ignorant of what they have done. The impending scolding from the loudspeakers will be the extra-curricular topic of conversation for a week, and every student not in attendance will know about it tomorrow morning. Welcome to a highschool student body pushing 90. "Is that your whole senior class?" One T-high female acquaintance asked me while pointing to a huddle of green-clad potential. Heck yes it is. Smiling after a bad call shows more of an attitude than a shout to the ref. The three young men, taste the bittersweet. School is on the downhill. Most of them will never play in a competitive environment with such great friends as their teammates and fans. This may hve been their moment of fame, their last shot at greatness. Hopefully not, but who knows? Certainly not i. Do you dare to distance yourself from the crowd, put your own Lucy booth and charge people a nickel for your thoughts? (not a penny)

David Foster Wallace Vocabulary of the Day (from now on called DFWVotD):
apocope (aw-paw'-coh-pee)-The loss of one or more sounds from the end of a word, as in Modern English "sing" from Middle English "singen".
amanuensis-n (aw-mahn'-yooen'-sis): someone skilled in the transcription of speech (especially dictation).
(i think he pulls these off of the balderdash cards.)

...while I, sedated, slept like a graven image.

Today, i ventured into Infinite Jest, and i don't mean i began a cylcle of silliness that will g oon for all eternity. No, i embarked on an adventure into David Foster Wallace's novel Infinite Jest, of titularly appropriate length (1079 pages of packed print and somewhat disjointed plot). i know that during the time i am reading it, i will be tempted to post on it every night, but, for the sake of you, my reader, i will refrain...but not today. Oh no, i must give you the highlights.
Vocab: Nepotistic-Favoritism shown or patronage granted to relatives, as in business.
Lapidary-One who cuts, polishes, or engraves gems; A dealer in precious or semiprecious stones.
Wen-A harmless cyst, especially on the scalp or face, containing the fatty secretion of a sebaceous
gland.

Understand that i probably could have made a post of just vocab words i didn't know in the first 15 pages, but i'll spread it out. I intend to have a DFW word of the day from now on. now here is my laugh out loud quote from the book. To set the scene, this kid is in the middle of an interview at the University of Arizona.

"It strikes me that EXIT signs would look to a native speaker of Latin like red-lit signs that say HE LEAVES."

Realize that if i wasn't lazy i would type out paragraphs of hilarity for you, but i'm lazy, so too bad.

Here's some pictures of the man himself:



If KU plays crappy again tonight, i quit life. But i'll most likely still support them fully, except for Giddens.

Visual Sunday

i have decided to make Sunday my day to show you pictures of whatever i like, probably pictures of my own, not from the internet. So here is the first edition of Visual Sunday for all you who don't learn by reading and even for those who do.

Abbey (1993-2005)

R.I.P.

Hot Hufflepuffs

Some of the many girls i picked up at the premiere. My eyes look creepy, oh well.

I am #1 (9 actually)

That would be me and my fellow Potter-heads in line for the midnight show of Azkaban. Why is it so light you ask? Well that's because it is 5 in the afternoon sillies. And oh yeah, how many people are in front of us? Yeah that's right, we dominated. (major points to any girl who can tell me whose jersey i am wearing...i will accept two answers.)

Kauffman in Negative

As Fantasy Baseball approaches, i give you my good friend Doug, who neever emails me bac kin a timely manner, but who also has the great stress of his last semester at Wheaton bearing down upon him. May the Royals not lose 100 games this year.

The Best of Times Come...

when no one really cares what you are doing as long as you are together with good friends.
when the group is not too small but not too big.
when you're with family.
when watching home movies that you could (but wouldn't) use to black mail your friends.
when not watching KU suck.
when staying up later than you should.
when no technology is required.
to people who aren't planning on the time being the best.
while you are awake (as glorious as sleep is, i have very few great memories from it).
on school trips (NYC!).
while TPing (summer sizzle).
during late night conversations at summer camps.
when i tune myself out in English class and read a Classic.
when you never have to worry about the conversation being awkward or the group not getting along.
at home on Sunday afternoons, while i put off homework (ok, that's not true).
during musicals and dramas (even this year...maybe...).
while surfing the blogosphere.

Inside My Head No Longer

Alright, basketball, girls basketball, definitely not as entertaining as the guys, but still cool to see them play hard, and win. I wonder when Anna will get here, and Nathan, and Crandall, and Crandall, and how many girls he will bring with him. O my, there are too many Anna's here. Dribble with your freaking left hand, you're not 8 anymore!Where are we going to go? My house would be nice...she what? She quit? Are her sources reliable? Hmmm...probably. Well i guess i shouldn't expect any more from her. She is one of them. Probably got scared off by the demerit threats of Mr. W. for skipping practices. Good riddance. They gave her part to Savannah? That's ok, i mean ireally wanted to at least act opposite someone cool since i got raped on the casting, but hey that's ok...THEY REPLACED HER WITH WHO? Looks like a new lover for me, alright. I don't want to here that defeatise attitude, i want to hear you upbeat...WE"RE SCREWED (by we i mean i, and i don't really mean i. But if i have meaning, it is i)!! And the hits just keep on coming. Why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? Or better yet, why don't you go die? That was funny...here we go. Your house? My house? her house? Nothing to do. Nice TV. Ok, my house, i'm leaving. Hey guys, welcome, this is my house. Kind of a weird group. Thanks for coming and making this awkward, and for disrespecting my house, but i really never told you otherwise. Covert conversation everywhere. I feel like no one really wants to be here. Like this is some purgatory in their Friday night. Oh, she has to leave...too bad, oh, everyone is leaving...surely not--...dang, i'm here all alone. Why don't some girls speak up and others shut up? Why don't some shout out and others chill out and still others get the heck out? Why do you insist on tormenting me so? Nate, what'd she say?...typical. I still can't believe you are leaving. Not that i really had anything to do, but seriously. Since when does no girls+no surround sound+a crappy dvd player=a better place? I'll call you tomorrow, and you, and you. Good thing i don't have to work tomorrow (?). Good thing i dont have homework to do (?). Good thing I'm a Christian. Imagine me not being one...kinda scary i think. I hope tomorrow is like today, except way better and with less Yankee Candles to blow out. Walmart? Who goes there for fun late at night when TPing isn't involved? I keep typing ;s instead of 's...kinda annoying. Wanna read about letters to a serial murdering winged beast? It's called To Killa Mockingbird.


Whew, that was a little scary. My head was a little messy and needed some cleaning. My efforts to turn this blog into my own personal pensieve seem to have worked. I'll call ya...if you really think i will.

Everyone Likes Candy

You just have to figure out what kind. Then when yo uwalk up to the foreign guy at ghetto Kwik Shop, you can say "Rollos please." He will then stare back at you with his one working eye, collect your 55 cents, and take it over to Dimple Donuts to buy his "cream filled" munchkins...riiiiiiight.

With a genre as over done as court-room drama. To Killa Mockingbird is truly refreshing. It's like the courtroom part is just the climax after 100+ pages of fmaily life that could have led to anything. Without previous knowledge of the book, the court scenes would be almost totally unexpected. Seriously though, i don't understand how shows like Law & Order keep thinking of new crimes, especially when there are four different versions running. Same thing for all the CSIs...You know the writers are in the back parousing police reports. "ok, copy, paste, insert meaningless technical dialog, commercial, more dialog, set up audience to suspect the innocent, blow their minds, role credits."

I am already dreading what tomorrow night will surely bring. The post-basketball game "What are you doing?" conversations. No one ever has plans and we always end up just going to someone's house...which is fine. But the amount oftime it takes to just decide whose house we go to is ridiculous. I always end up havign to help the put up all the bleachers and people are yelling at us to get out of the gym. So we go outside inthe cold to waste some more time. By the time we get somewhere people are having to leave so they can make curfew.

I can;t wait to see what the weekend brings. Throwing things off of roofs is high entertainment.

Feels kinda like the Detonator, except opposite.

I encourage no one to take offense to this post, only a few would. I apologize for times i sound prideful, but i am venting and telling the truth as i see it (hehe).

Today was the day, the day when parts for the drama (this year The Merchant of Venice) were posted. The day that comes twice a year and has now left me disappointed 10 times (once in 5th and 6th grade, and twice in 9-12). Before today i had run the scenario through my head many times, i didn't see much of a worst case scenario possible, that is until i read the posted sheet. It's never good when you start at the top and have to scroll for a while before you find your name and then your first response is "Who?" Now that's not to say that i have gotten to play some really fun parts (Soulis, ALI HAKIM!!, and even seemingly boring Baptista was good times thanks to the amazing cast (doug, matt)). But i have also put up with some serious crap like Townsperson #2 in Seven Brides (yeah that means 14 good guys parts), and the Firetruck in Velveteen Rabbit (as a 6th grader!! The oldest kids in the show). i have paid my freaking dues ok? No one at our school has done more productions than me. So to see someone who never even entered my mind snatch one of the leading roles i was confident would go to one of my best friends (and hence giving my friend the part i expected and booting me out of the trio. and don't even say he is more qualified than i or either of my friends. But this is nothing against him. He didn't give himself the part.) left my stomache sinking into Marianasian depths. Thoughts of hoping the play would bomb crossed my mind. Actually they never crossed. They have plopped themselves comfortably in my head...quitting occurred to me, but i would never sink to the depths of those people, you know who you are. i still fully intend to make the directors regret their decision, either (and most likely) through my performance, or, well, something else happening (ask me...if you think you want to know). i guess the reason i am so upset is that this year there is no "next time" and i didn't just get the seniority card played on me. i got the "you suck" card played on me. It's like going out with aces against AK...you did everything right, just someone upstairs decided to screw you over and let the worse player win. But bring it on folks. In a week or two, i will have embraced Lorenzo as myself and let go of my shredded hopes, but they'll still be sitting there on the floor, inspiring me to pull out all the stops.

In other news, i got the Keane CD today titled "Hopes and Fears." I highly recommend listening to some of their stuff if you like coldplay. This was my first really fueled rant. It felt kinda good, but i probably shouldn't dwell on it. Keep the ole attitude positive :). Later kids.

Post-Valentine's Post and the Post

Finally, the hours of forced fake emotion and vocal stress are over. The smiling faces may have been nice, but not nearly as nice as that of Donnie Darko in his hypnotic state. Hitting on elementary school girls gets old after a while, i'll be honest. But there were definitely things i got from my day of driving around town all day singing (After all, the best way to spread Valentine's cheer is singing loud for all to hear).

First off, don't let people who think they know their way around Topeka lead your group. People who actually know their way around and read complete driections are much mroe reliable. On that same note, Northern Hills Middle School is on the North side of town, not the South (wierd). Don't ever doubt my knowledge of NorTo (Brady and i have that copyrighted). Second, you get really condescending looks when you walk into a public school in a group of formally clad boys and girls, that is until you sing, then you get confused looks "Why the heck are you putting yourself through this?" Honestly, i like singing the same songs a lot, and earning money for my school. Public relations baby!

Today, the post brought me my new Adidas Escudo jacket that i got on Ebay (retail: $60. my amazing deal: $35). The sleaves were too long, but my rockin' mom fixed that up good as new. Sewing...what a dying art. I love my mom.

Tonight, i am thinking about turning in early and embarking on an adventure into Part 2 of To Kill a Mockingbird. A more likely scenario is getting stuck on the phone or internet wasting my time (not that talking to people is wasting time...well ok, usually it is). I envy you public schoolers who see that the end is near, not that i am living for the future or anything. i leave you with this:

"Mr Iliff, why aren;t you wearing your PJs? It's pajama day?"
"These are my PJs," he says wearing slacks, shirt, tie, and sport coat.
"OK, so you don't have school spirit."
"Blain, take off your hat," Blain removes hat, "Blain, put it back on," Blain laughs and leaves it off because he knows Iliff really wants him to keep it off but also wanted to take a cheap shot at Blain's awesomely crazy curly mess of hair.

Things that suck (Jeopardy Category)

This little phenomenon has been a lightweight help to cleaning moms all around the world for quite some time now.

This vast expanse encompasses the earth.

This KU basketball player is overly confident, takes untimely and off balance shots, hits on high school girls, and straight up makes people angry a lot.

This Texas Tech player was 1-5 on three pointers for the season before making the most important 3 of Texas Tech's season.

This musician won the Grammy for best song, daughters, written because he feels obliged to do something nice for all the fathers whose girls he has defiled.

This D1 men's basketball team shoots free throws worse than Ray Charles

This person can't think of any good advice to give anyone, but frequently tries to give advice anyways, just so she can sound cool.

This contraption on a cruise ship sucks with such frightening force that small children have been lost, and grown men are known to have night terrors regarding it.

This person went out in poker early hoping to get some rest but ended up watching a KU game that lasted way too long considering the end result. Now he is typing away madly at his blog and losing precious minutes of sleep that he will wish he had tomorrow morning as he zombies into Bible study wearing PJs

(Questions in order: What is a/the...vacuum, space, Giddens, Zeno [i think], John Mayer, KU, some generalized person,toilet, me?)

Nothing Better part deux

After a wasted Sabbath, there is nothing better than to check your email and find that the only three messages in your inbox are from people you actually care about and were written with thought (you know who you are). As Brantley Dean put it, there is nothing more important to our "living in the Kingdom" than spending time with other people who want to do likewise, not quiet times, not praise and worship (by that i mean singing songs to God). The benefits of those two things should come naturally when you spend time with others who truly have the Kingdom as their goal. Are your "Christian" friends like that? Am i that type of person? Maybe sometimes. Certainly not while playing Halo, and usually not while playing poker. (i'm not sure if that last statement was true, but it felt good)

Baby sitting is not my thing. It isn't that bad, but i think i would rather clean McDonald's bathrooms for minimum wage.

Tomorrow i endeavor to make the most depressing holiday of the year a little more bearable for some 50 people. Hopefully i will remember the words for Logest Time. Schmoozing total strangers is the best...or maybe second best, next to schmoozing your friend's girlfriend...that's always pretty funny.

Party of Two

The warmly lit home stood out in the culdesac. When the rest of suburbia had turned in for the night or hadn't returned for the morning a party began. No one was really invited, it just happened. Joe told Jane; Jane told Steve, then the whoel world showed up. Sure the parents may have been a little startled, but who would throw a group of teens into the mildly cold night air on a Friday night? i know i would.

Soon after arrival, the group ventured into the street for some fun with a lighter, Lysol, and Coffee Mate (the powdered kind). Oh the joys of pyrotechnics. Two doors down, a deserted cop car rested ominously. What would have happened if it had been occupied?
"Excuse me young man, what are you doing?"
"Making fireballs."
"At 11 o'clock?"
"I wasn't aware of the time, but if you say so."
"How many illegal substances do you have on you?"
"How many diets have you been on...ever, cuz it's probably the same number."
"Get in the car."
"My car?"
"My car."
"Why your car? I really don't like black & white, plus the lights are a little high profile. Why don't we take my car? i could out run you anyways, it goes 0-60 in 4.9, so i suggest you take my offer."
"Do you have onstar?"
"No, it's a Mitsubishi."
"Stupid Japs...ruined my freaking childhood."
"Get in the car."
"My car?"
"We already went through this...if i go with you, we are taking my car, and where the heck are we going anyways? i need to get some gas."
"I have some burritos in my car."
"Really? From Sam's Club?"
"No, CostCo, we don't have Sam's club in California."
"Oh, right, i just came in from Kansas, so i wouldn't know...do you know if they have those microwavable Philly Cheesesteaks at CostCo?"
"Not sure, i can ask the wife though. Do you think you'll be here next week? If so, i'll tell you what she says."
"Probably, but you know what, just take my number. i'm usually at home."
"Alright, i'll ring ya up."
"So are we going for a ride?"
"Sorry, i can't leave my squad car sitting there. And the whole Jap thing; i refuse to even ride in their cars."
"You're missin' out, but ok. We're out of Coffee Mate, so we can go inside now and not get you into trouble."
"Coffee Mate?"
"Cheap entertainment. That's what i'm all about."
He and the cop parted ways. The party resumed inside the warmly-lit house, and the cop proceeded to discuss popular culture with his dispatcher all night. "No way! Reuben definitely won the second American Idol."


Sorry about not posting the last few days. The computer was taken when i got home each night and i didn;t want to stay up waiting for it (it's my gambling-addicted brother). Bottom line: i need to geta wireless network and my Imac G5.

Ash Wednesday

As i am performing a significant part of T.S Eliot's "Ash Wednesday" i feel it my responsibilty to include my favorite parts in this post. i tried putting the whole thing on here, but the line breaks weren't working and i didn't have the patience to do them all manually. So, some of my favorite parts:

Because I do not hope to turn again
Because I do not hope
Because I do not hope to turn
Desiring this man's gift and that man's scope
I no longer strive to strive towards such things
(Why should the agèd eagle stretch its wings?)
Why should I mourn
The vanished power of the usual reign?


Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to sit still

If the lost word is lost, if the spent word is spent
If the unheard, unspoken Word is unspoken, unheard;
Still is the unspoken word, the Word unheard,
The Word without a word, the Word within
The world and for the world;
And the light shone in darkness and
Against the Word the unstilled world still whirled
About the centre of the silent Word.

O my people, what have I done unto thee.

Now i don't claim to have a grasp on much of this, but i think the encounter with language it provides, and the obvious emotion and passion the verse carries can be enough to aprreciate it as great.

Recently i have noticed how completely i am driven by the future. Every day i (and most of the high school students) walk the halls saying "i can't wait for 'insert upcoming event here...the weekend is popular'." The weekend, or whatever the event is, comes and goes. We might have a good time during that much anticipated day, but even if we do, was not the week wasted in looking towards that event? In all seriousness, we need to keep our heads in the present. Look forward to graduation, but recognize that these days leading up to it are no bore; they are no curse. They might seem that way if we view them as such. But i challenge you to not dwell on the future or the good ole times. Where will they get you? They will get you the heck out of here, and no where but here is reality. Personally, i prefer the concrete. If the whole country did this for a week, productivity would spike astoundingly. Think how many paid work hours are wasted day dreaming, playing solitaire, or talking on AIM (that's you Nathan Clark)? The weekend might be great, but for now, give me school and KU vs. Kstate, the weekend will handle itself just fine. And right now i really don't look forward to it because i have to sing and the weather is cold as...well, it's cold outside.

Ash Wednesday complete text with the option of having it read to you by T.S. Eliot himself(yeah, i listened to the whole thing)

Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.

Clint Eastwood saying anything
Brad Pitt in a suit
Fighter Pilots
US Navy Seals
Michael Jordan
BMW
Ocean's Eleven
Attractive females talking about literature...ok, maybe that's just really hot.

These are a few of the things that i think capture the essence of cool. They carry with them that ambiance. You want to be seen with them, to say "yeah, i am one of those," but most of us realize our greatest hope is to say, "yeah, i know one of those." They are just too cool. But some of these things are incompatible. Like Clint Eastwood driving a BMW. It makes me laugh just to think of it. But Clint Eastwood playing a Navy Seal, that would be cool. Brad Pitt as a Seal wouldn't work, ever. I would be worrying about his uniform getting messed up.

Meanwhile, back at the farm, no cab drivers knew where Tom Ping Memorial Park was. You get to Chicago, everyone speaks English (except the cab drivers of course) and no one knows where the freaking park is...craziness.

Quotes of the day:
"This man is amazing, and definitely worthy of having my children." (hopefully you will be having his children.)
(while boarding an airplane) "Didn't i just jump out of one of these?"
"Chemistry is a form of art."
"Calculus integration is an artform"
Ok, hold it, in my attempts to dump all art classes this year, i find myself with two teachers explaining new art forms which i have hope in, but still hate and trudge through unwillingly.

Things i need to do:
Read more David Foster Wallace. Seriously, my dad just finished his "Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again" and i got jealous.
Read Harry Potter
Read To Kill a Mockingbird
Read Brave New World
Read Merchant of Venice
Ok, i guess i just need to read more, who woulda thunk it?

If you don't completely understand Paschal's Wager, i recommend reading Hold 'Em Poker for Advanced Players. Amazing how much poker applies to life. Expected Value...learn it.

Scene 1

Camera slowly zooms from high above a suburban neighborhood, it then focuses on the front facade of one house. The door opens, as if allowing a guest in, we make a quick right turn and find ourselves in the middle of a poker home game. Four men sit around the table, a wife walks by on her way to the kitchen, casually clad.
Damian: ...i told her "no ma'am, i'm married," apparently she hadn't noticed the blatant gestures i kept making with my left hand. i mean this was brutally obvious stuff like looking at my nails, and checking my watch, which i don't have...
Samuel: I raise
Damian: No, you bet.
Samuel: Alright, i bet a dollar
Damian: The blind is two dollars...you have to bet that.
Samuel: But it's no limit man.
Damian: Umm yeah, you go watch the Miller High Life rules of the game, i have them on DVD over by that archaic piece of machinery.
Samuel goes over to the VCR
Dave: Well i call.
Damian: You sure about that? This is the first pot you've been in...whatcha holdin' over there?
Dave: Two queens.
Damian: O, well you don't want to call with two queens.
Dave: Alright, i'll fold then.
Wille: I think he wants you to raise.
Damian: Yeah...ummm maybe we should forget this whole cards thing and resort to reflecting on why Dave and i are the only married ones here.
Cell phone vibrates on table
Dave: Hello. Hey sweetie...no i'm not losing money, and even if i was, it would be to the guys...not like we're robbing from the baby's college fund or anything...of course i'll be home before 12...oo yeah dinner with your parents tomorrow. Ok, well i'll be home in a few hours. Bye love.
Damian Willie & Samuel from couch: Baby?!
Dave: Haha. No she's not keepin' a bun in the oven. Just plannin' ahead. You know how Janet loves to be read yfor anything. I mean birth control isn't that reliable anyways right?
Samuel: Really?
Damian: Well we could ask this lovely lady here. gives wife a peck on the cheek and looks into her eyes as she makes her way towards the bedroom in sweats.
Wife: You want something babe?
Damian: Well...
Willie: So for the sake of the single men here can we please change the topic. And by the way Dave. Ever since you hung up the phone, Damian has been just longing to make some sort of "my wife is better than yours" joke, and i think rightly so. Midnight curfew...you're 26!
Damian: True, and by the way--
Samuel: Dude, a royal flush beats a straight flush!
Damian:--i have to be up at 5 tomorrow, we have faculty meetings, so you guys should probably clear out with Dave anyways.
Samuel to Willie from the couch: Is he serious?
Willie: My readigns pick up nothing to the contrary.
Damian: Sam, you ready to lose your money yet?
Samuel: In every hand, someone over here makes a full house, it's kinda creepy, but yeah, i suppose.
Damian: Finally...let's play some cards...in loud voice and continuing the hot-chick-hitting-on-me-story--
Wife from bedroom: Isn't he such a joker?
Samuel: Those are wild.

The introverted Absentee

Super bowl Sunday came at last, and i was determined to suck every minute out of it. So i didn't leave the house all day, not even for church, yeah that's right, i skipped. when i woke up i decided i would rather read my Bible and one of those male-directed religious books for a while and study for my huge test in lieu of church. Then, when my family got home from church, i was ready for the full day of super bowl-centered television that today held.

i am sure some of you are in awe of my sacrilege, and maybe rightly so, but if i had gone to church, my mind would have been elsewhere, and i had a pretty good time at home. It also gave me, the introvert that i am, more recharge time. Now being an introvert does not mean i am scared of people as Nathan would like to have you think. It just means that i get sick of people, not anyone in particular, just people. So i usually choose to hide in my woodland cabin on Sunday afternoons...as a not very wise acquaintance often says "no regrets" (this phrase is too often used as some license to not care about the sin in your life...grrr). What are you my friend? Fueled by the masses, or recharging alone in the corner?

Yesterday i was struck with the flaw in the first chapter of a novel i started writing/brainstorming. It isn't supposed to be a novel. It's supposed ot be a screenplay. i guess it's probably cuz i feel more familair with the film medium since i am a typical lazy american. Anyways, there are these four guys who hang out...adultery...poker...the works. I'm sure it will suck, but now i at least know where i am going with it. i might post pieces as it comes. On a side note, the Happy tree friends site is back up...it was being gay yesterday and today (stupid DSL).

Things Learned

Satellite signal is affected by wind, and not solar wind or wind that is blowing in the storm of the century, just plain old Great plains wind.

Door to door sales is pretty good exercise, especially when running from angry men with shotguns (didn't happen, but you can imagine).

Taboo is really fun, especially when sentences begin "Anna has really big..." ummm sunglasses?

People have very different perceptions of hot and cold, as in one person will be taking off layers while the other person is like "i haven't worn my coat in two hours, where is it?" (**cough** susanna **cough**)

Cartoon violence is hillarious. If you disagree, or if you like cartoon violence (i guess that covers everyone) click here and watch some of the movies (for high speed users only).

Blaming DSL for the problems of technology is fun. Next time your cable goes out or your PC (or Mac) freezes just say "Stupid DSL."

Having your friend's mom in your phone book is weird...weird to the point that you should get married to him (the friend, not the mom. If the mom was a he, that would be even more weird), but not really.

Get Fuzzy is probably the best cartoon ever. For a big reason why, follow my Harry Potter News link and read the "Fuzzy Harry" story, and read the cartoon everyday for the rest of your life (o c'mon, you're already addicted to my blog. What's a little comic strip?)

Only evil teachers have the biggest test of the year on the monday after Super Bowl Sunday...i mean seriously, we're not supposed to study on Sunday anyways. Right? RIGHT?! RIGHT?!?!?!

Disjointed

a photo contest comprised of sunsets,
bold colours in designer space,
cluttered floors in teenage bedrooms
forecast our impending dooms.

she hates it when i burp.
like some auditory
unforgivable sin
crashed, ruined her dinner.

Without lemon, my enamel
grinned as only enamel can.
My tongue frowned, tasted fishiness,
the stuff cats lick the last bit
out of canned tuna cans without
dolphin (the fish).

On some island, quintuplets raid
private traps for food. Not hunger,
but greed steers them and tickle sticks
to Plato's "crustacean essence."
Smuggling is out of the question.

Subtitled? Super!

The first subtitled movie i ever saw was Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. i remember entering Westridge Sux wondering if the entire movie-going experience would be ruined by those white titles popping up like web ads. Only now do i realize how small the role of dialog can be in a film. Try watching Crouching Tiger, or Hero, or any decent foreign film you might get your hands on (try the library, they have loads, and its free!) without subtitles for 10 minutes. You will find that, especially in visual films, and in those where the acting is the best, the story can still be understood without the dialog being in your language. Emotions are still expressed in tone, and mood is set with color and music. In Hero, i bet there were 5 minute sections without any meaningful chit chat (And that is no slam against the script, i like the movie more than Crouching Tiger...don't go in looking for realism, because it's not there. Go in looking for stunning visuals and solid action, and you will walk away like an early teen wizard from Honeydukes). Now i want to see Life is Beautiful, i think it is a similar type of movie, only it is emotionally driven, that's only what i hear though.

Do most people go somewhere for the Super Bowl? Every year of my life i have stayed home. Am i deprived? Am i missing out on some cultural phenomenon America is freely offering me? No, i'm not. YOU, my friend, are missing out. My family eats more, laughs more, and has more of a downright good time on Super Bowl Sunday than you can imagine (we build a fire too...yeah that's right). So enjoy your church party, and not being able to actually watch the game because of the obnoxious people who don't understand it's importance. I'll be on my couch, chowing on cherry cheesecakes and deli croisants, watching the game with only closed caption (at least for those ten minutes...if only i could get announcers who spoke Mandarin...Zorig?) to see if it loses the usual energy. (potential halftime incidents here)

Harry Potter Fantastic Beast of the day:
Knarl, usually mistaken for a hedgehog by muggles, it is offended whe noffered food because it sees everything as a trap. When offered food, it proceeds to vandalize the surrounding garden or lawn, often causing unwarranted blam to be placed on muggle children. (Paraphrased from Newt Scamander's Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them)

Cair Air

As some of you may know, i had my scholarship interview for the Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps (AFROTC) today. Upon entering the main office, Sergeant Hammond asked me to sit down so she could ask me a few questions and fill out some pre-interview forms.
"Have you smoked marijuana?"
"No"
"Ever?"
"No"
"Now if youare lying to me and we find out, you will never be in any part of the armed forces, ever."
"OK."
"Now write down all your speeding tickets, MIPs, etc. here."
"I don't have any."
"Are you sure?"
"Lemme check...yup, i'm sure."

Sergeant Hammond gives me the i-could-kick-your-lazy-civilian-whiteboy-butt-and-i-will-find-out-if-you-lied look, took my height and weight, and handed me off to Captain Bland (no that is not my own personal descriptive nickname, although i wish it was)


My interviewer was Captain Keith Bland, and despite what his name suggests, he was a rockin' guy (i know soem of you are throwing out the "Oh well he's a recruiter, of course he was nice." And to those of you, i say that he isn't a recruiter. i have never been recruited. To get to this point i had to take all the initiative. This is well into the AFROTC scholarship Application process. That said, i continue). During the course of our discussion, he asked me about authorities or situations that have frustrated me and how i dealt with them. Naturally, my mind went striaght to school with our uniforms, newly instigated detention, hair laws and what not. He kind of laughed as i told the legendary story of the dynamited out of proportion event that was the FOOD FIGHT.
"Yeah the Air Force has a lot of seemingly petty rules. Tha tsoudns a lot like it is here. A lot. The uniforms and all..."

I have to admit, in my career at CP, i never thought that its rules and regs might help me adapt more easily to the USAF, but i really think it might have helped me out in the ole interview process. We'll see.

Shout outs to my dad in the Bahamas, my sister in Cali, my bro downstairs. Happy Birthday Chad! (i don't know your email)

Night & Day

Last night sucked. i went ot bed around 11, woke up at 1, 3, and 430 to throw up each time, and toss around my bed until i fell into a shallow sleep. i also took a play out of my elephant's book if ya know what i'm talkin about (read previous post). Anyways, i think i missed an ok day of school, and i don't have any homework due tomorrow that i am aware of, so that's a plus. Today has been a slow uphill climb into the realm of good health. Right now i am feeling normal because of the acetaminophen running through my blood. Hopefully, once the drugs where off, i will be ok.

I took a nap from 11-12 on our couch this morning. When i woke up i thought it was Wednesday and that i had to get ready for my AFROTC interview in Lawrence. Fortunately, it was still Tuesday.

I should go to bed early tonight so i can get back into the school groove tomorrow. It's great knowing that i don't have to face Iliff or Grove tomorrow.

Moms who take care of you are the best part about being sick. The worst part is probably throwing up. It makes me want to brush my teeth multiple times and gargle a whole bottle of Listerine (not swallow...that would make me drunk...hmmm).

Sorry for my lack of length or interestingness...i am with Ansen today...i wonder if we got the same crap. i plan to be back in full force tomorrow with stories of Captain Keith and i'm sure i'll have some huge Ancient Lit reading to complain about that i havent gotten yet.