Judge Judy returns

Many of you may recall the little run-in i had with public safety regarding my suite's HI-larious prank calls. I had filed the whole episode into the stories-to-tell-the-kids file when i received a lengthy email last week which began like this:

Dear Thomas:
The Dean of Student Affairs received a report with information regarding
a phone call made from your extension to a student on campus. According
to the report, you were involved in a violation of the Code of Conduct,
specifically, actions or language that constitutes disrespect.

According to the Student Handbook, "in some cases of student misconduct,
a Student Disciplinary Committee hearing may not be necessary. In this
case, we are requesting that you attend an administrative hearing with a
University staff member to discuss the incident, your involvement, and
any steps that will be taken or sanction imposed to resolve the matter."

That was interesting, but in the mail yesterday my roommate received a typed up transcript of "approximately what was said" in our prank call. This is priceless stuff folks. Realize that everything we say is really Judge Judy talking, and that this is what the girl remembered us saying. i will let you know what really went down within [].

Girl: Hello?
Judge Judy: Hello!
G: Who is this?
JJ: (indistinguishable name) [we were saying "miss malone", apparently it didn't carry very well]
G: I'm sorry?
JJ: (repeated name)
G: Who are you trying to call?
JJ: (Indistinguishable name) [we said mr. butler...that was the clearest name on the judge judy sound board]
G: I'm sorry, i think you have the wrong number.
JJ: Don't you dare hang up on me! [definitely not on the soundboard. when would judge judy ever say this?]
g: who are you looking for again?
JJ: (indistinguishable name) [looks like the whole name thing isnt workin out too well]
G: I really think you have the wrong number.
JJ: Look, first of all, I'm going to kill you; then i'm going to kill myself!

[ok, time out. we did say that, but there was definitely no "look, first of all." who introduces a death threat by calmly laying out a logical progression of their actions? And who hasnt figured out by now that this is some kind of prank call by now? Geez. All things considered, this is the only thing we said that may have crossed the line. proceed moon.]

G: Where are you?
JJ: I'm about to drive off the road right now! [what?! where did that come from? i have spent some time staring at the sound board and cant figure out which phrase sounds anything like that.]
G: Why don;t you just pull over and calm down?
JJ: Do you think i need to be on prescription medication? [we actually asked her if she was on prescription medication, which made her hesitant response just as funny.]
G: No...
JJ: Don't you dare hang up on me! [again, not on there]
G: what can i do to help you?
JJ: You know what? I think you need to jsut step outside!
(at this point i began to realize that this was some kind of a prank) [REALLY? Then why did this get reported to public safety?]
G: I'm really sorry, but i think you have the wrong number. It's late and my roommate is already asleep...
JJ: Hello!
(the intonation was identical to the first hello, i realized it was a recording and hung up immediately.)


In other news, the water down here is getting insanely cold, so the beach is getting less attractive, but being able to see it is still nice :). Last night, after my first "celebration of learning" (a.k.a. test) in psychology, i emerged from Elkins auditorium to the shrieking and frolicking of hundreds of females. What the... Had i walked onto the set of Oprah? Nope, it was bid night for the seven sororities on campus, and apparently it was exciting. I have personally decided that sororities are mostly for the girls who need to have some security net to fall into when they realize that they have no identity on campus. Fraternities on the other hand are for the guys who don;t want to have to look for the off campus parties on the weekends. No that's not totally true, well, the part about the girls is.

I overhear some great quotes in the sandbar while studying sometimes. The one taking the cake yesterday was a bona fide sorority girl watching oprah and talking to some guy.
Guy: Oprah should run for president, she would totally win. [there's one guy i know not to become friends with]
Girl: Are you kidding me? In this country you pretty much HAVE to be white and male to be president. I mean all our other presidents have been. It's so sad.

Good stuff right there. So many things to say, but i guess she's right, who wants a woman in office? Haha just messin (kind of), as long as the last name isn't Clinton. Sorry to leave on a political note, but this has been lengthy.