Visual Sunday: Cruise in Review pt. 1

This is kind of a large task, but i will do my best to summarize and emphasize the last week+ of my life in a way that isn't boring...her goes.


I suppose this wasn't actually part of the cruise itself. It was kind of our pre-cruise exercise which we used to excuse our proceeding week of engorgement. This is one of the biggest gators we saw (not that big due to perspective...he was probably 8-10 feet long and really fat). Dad is on the bike trail. Yeah, they jsut roam right up and say hey. My favorite part of thsi 15-mile trek through the everglades was when we fed a giant grasshopper to some baby gators Animal Planet style. Chad was knocking the doomed insect into the water with a grass stalk uprooted from the surroundings. Eventually the grasshopper got away when the babies realized how disgusting eating grasshoppers is...seriously.



Aww, cruise check in. Here i tried to sport the face expressing the enthusiasm i felt upon seeing the labyrinth of cattle-herding barriers in front of us. Passports in hand, we slowly marched through the lines while issuing bovine moans much adding to the confusion of those around us. "why the heck are they mooing?" Here i also got a waiver signed saying i could consume beer and wine aboard the ship...score. Too bad i about upchucked at the taste of wine and would rather sip diarhea than the watered down bread dough that is beer.


MUSTER STATIONS!! The anitcipated pre-cruise safety drill arrived at last! Now, when the ship is sinking, will everyone really go calmly to their rooms (mine is on deck two and most likely submerged by the time i get there), retrieve their lifejacktes and ask for direction to the right muster station? I think i'd be tossing central american overboard in my mad rush to get on one of the lifeboats. Sure, they say there are plenty for everyone, but we've all seen Titanic (or at least the good parts...like when Leo dies...). Don't beleive their lives. Besides, the lifejackets will soon be featured in the new Clue game. They are far more efficient stranglers than ropes...plus, the victim never seas it coming. You may be floating, but try breathing...


Formal Nights. In addition to doubling the amount of clothes you have to bring, these babies are the one cruise event that make cruises feel like work. You have to set aside a block of time to change for dinner and primp. I suppose you don't have to, but the fashion bouncers (short Philipino men...surprise...) won't let you in the dining room if you don't. I decided not to bring a sport coat or suit, since i don't own one, and ride the line with a shirt and tie. It all worked out alright, and hey, don't we look pretty hott? (bring on the sister comments)


Our first port of call (cruise language for "where we stop so you can get off and blow money") was Labadee. A little chunk of Haiti fenced off in a Jurassic Park-esque way by Royal Carribean International itself for the private enjoyment of all the pampered rich tourists you could want. Really, it was a nice place. We did some snokeling out by a little plane wreck, ate some BBQ, chlled on the beach and...



DOMINATED IN SOME BEACH VOLLEYBALL. Yeah, those are gold medals, as in we got first. Team Kansas baby. After breezing through the first round our opponents in the finals looked to be our doom. These guys had a couple of kids on club teams at their respective colleges (one called Oregon or something), fortunately, i quickly spotted the weak link, a shorter stalky guy that could have beaten the crap out of me with one arm. He was the type that wears different Harley Davidson to match that days perpetual scowl. For that reason, i was hesitant to serve to him everytime, but these guys were solid, what else could i do? Putting your life at risk is just one of those things you have to do to be #1. We won 21-9. When the first round opponents of our fellow finalists heard how bad we won, they looked at us in awe, like some kind of volleyball gods (which we basically were). The legend of Team Kansas was born