Senior Paragraphs

At Cair Paravel Latin School, we Seniors write up these little things called Senior Paragraphs. They are supposed to be little 150 summaries of our time spent there, with shouts out to all the people we love and stuff. They tend to be pretty uncreative wit hquotes and stuff. My real Senior paragraph is just that. Nothing to exciting, a few subtle references to stuff i like which some people may or may not pick up on, but generally formal and serious. Here i will post my real Senior Paragraph with things that i really want to put in there but can't, in [ ].

May we all[by we all i really just mean the people i like] never hesitate to look back with a smile as we laugh at musical bloopers ("Can we do that again?" "Matt fell into the pit."[that Matt Patton. He's always good for a joke. If you ever need someone to do something silly, go to him.]), relive soccer moments (WAHAA in ‘03, MAACS in ‘02 [me diving to get fouls called, getting asked if i had a vagina by a Perry guy for it and then busting out the ole "Scoreboard, Scoreboard" chant to the guy's face]), and remember all the fun times we had on school trips. This ride has been an indescribably fun thing I’ll never do again. To my teachers from Mrs. Jernigan to Mr. Schneider, you all have blessed me. Mrs. Hunter, you never made school a chore[and then we fired you for it]. Mrs. Greene, no one understands the sacrifices you make for our music program[did you know that when you came, everyone thought you were totally hot. Seriously, Nathan Clark was disappointed to hear you were married. I had to use "purity music" freshman year]. To my friends, the fires to come will be our true crucible[required mataphor of life]. Craig, Nate, Ben, this is a chain we’ll never break. Brady, thanks for befriending a sophomore [What does this remind you of?]. Daniel, you opened my eyes to poetry, Wallace, and the life of a gourmet chef[i could have honestly written my entire paragraph about this guy]. Baker, thanks for being my literature buddy. Shed, Box, please stay out of trouble[don't get STDs, but seriously...read the last part of "nothing better"]. Mom and Dad, I’ll have you know that with the money you have spent at CPLS you could have bought a Porsche 911...Turbo...and still had some left over. Paul, you’ve been through it, thanks for hanging around home[and by hanging around i mean not dying :)]. Sara (that's my sister), maybe I'll be seein you in Cali[yes she really does exist, and please no hot sister comments]!
Your Student, Friend, Son, Admirer, [enemy, future assassin, lover, brother, etc.]
Thomas Carr

i wanted to write some weird story that was a vague allegory of my life at CP, but then i realized that A. i didnt have the talent and B. this was supposed to be 150 words, not 1500 (at least). I have a feeling i could have done more here, but o well, i'm done. and by the way any capitalized "i" within the paragraph doesnt break my vow of uncapitalized first person singular subjective pronouns.