Quesadilla Explosion

So, the drama the last couple nights has gone miraculously well. Ben and James Iliff are straight up hysterical. It's just a shame that more people aren;t coming to see us. But you my gentle reader could change that next weekend by coming to see me and a bunch of other thespians put it all out there on stage.

On to the juiciness. Tonight after the performance, a group of us went over t oChili's to chillax and get a bite to eat. Our waitress, who strangely recognized me as Paul Carr's little brother even though she only knew Paul cuz they went to school together through 3rd grade (i doubt she ever saw me. heck, how did she even know i existed) and who happened to be pretty good looking, came to take our orders. I had bee npretty set on getting the classic nachos and not sharing them, but shortly before her eyes gazed into my soul asking, "And for you?" I saw "Quesadilla Explosion" on the menu. Scanning its subtitle, i was absorbed by its chargrilled chicken, melted cheese, and diced tomatoes...mmmm, yum yum. "Yeah, I'll have that (Quesadilla Explosion)," i said to her.

After the standard restaurant wait, our waitress carried over her tray of goodies. "OK, here's the salad." I thought to myself, "Whwat fairy here ordered a salad. I mean i wouldnt be surprised if one of the girls did, but man, if it's one of the guys..." The plate was being pushed towards me. The waitress' eyes locked onto mine, and in slow motion silence, her mouth formed the words "Quesadilla Explosion." My jaw dropped; i stared like i stare when in awe of someone's stupidity. "I ordered a salad?" I didn't have the heart to complain about it. I had just lost more manhood points than Van Damme ever had. As Seinfeld puts it, "Girls don't respect a salad guy!" And i'm not a salad guy. And this was no ordinary salad. This baby was a salad monster. Ingredients included:White lettuce, Green Lettuce, Red Lettuce, light green lettuce, purple lettuce, spinach, shredded cheese, beans, corn, vinegar, oil, chargrilled chicken, tortilla bits, melted cheeses, and even nuts. The cook, desiring this salad to live up to its name, found every piece piece of non-meat he had, added chicken, put it in a bowl with an m-80, and lit the sucker. The result, Quesadilla Explosion. What began as a 4th of July hoax, is now a Chili's staple.

I'll have you know that when describing the Quesadilla Explosion, you have to talk in the Ron Burgundy voice (no i havent seen Anchorman. Yes i plan to. No i don;t need to to know what the voice is...thanks doug.)